As I lay awake… on another sleepless night… Starin’ at a ceiling that’s seen more prayers than sleep… I wonder… Why am I still here? I’ve walked away from twisted steel and shattered glass, From skull fractures and shadows doctors say will last, They’ve shown me scans where pathways disappeared, Places in my mind that just… went dark and quiet. Weeks in rooms with white walls closing in, Machines hummin’ louder than the doubts within, Two dozen bottles lined up by the bed, Promisin’ relief… but only dullin’ what’s in my head The pain, the movements, sleepless dreams, Nightmares tearing at the seams, Confusion whisperin’ I’m broken down— But my faith won’t let me drown. Why am I still here, Lord tell me true, When others never saw the morning dew? Blue skies stretchin’ over fields of grace, Air in my lungs, tears on my face. Every breath’s a miracle, that much is clear— But why, oh why… am I still here? I pray for strangers walkin’ cold streets at night, For unborn souls who never saw the light, For friends in valleys deep and wide, For strength when hope is hard to find. And yes… I pray for me. For answers driftin’ somewhere I can’t see. God gave me life, a family strong, A faithful wife who’s held on long. She once laid still in an ICU room… They said she crossed that line. She told me Heaven felt like home… And part of her wished she’d stayed behind. Now I don’t fear dyin’… I just don’t understand livin’ like this. Seizures say my brain’s tryin’ to reset, But why ain’t it found that rhythm yet? Why the shaking? Why the strain? Why these storms inside my brain? Is this her burden too to bear, The weight of love, the constant care? Lord, I know I’m blessed beyond my worth, But why the hurt if I’m Your work? Why am I still here, can anybody say? Was I spared for some appointed day? From embryo small to breathin’ man, Held together by Your steady hand. You chose my life, made it clear— So why, sweet Lord… am I still here? Will the reason come when I see Your face? In a grand reawakening wrapped in grace? Biblical thunder, trumpet sound, Answers where no doubt is found? Do you ever wonder what life all means? Why some wake up… and some just dream? Tell me, friend, what do you believe— Why do some stay… and some just leave? I’m still here breathin’ sacred air, Still feelin’ sunlight in my prayer, Still standin’ though I’ve nearly broke, Still held up by the words You spoke. Each day’s a gift, that much is clear— So maybe that’s why… I’m still here. Blue skies… water… breath in my chest… A Savior who knows what’s comin’ next… I may not see the reason yet— But I trust the One who hasn’t failed me. So I’ll ask again… And I’ll keep the faith… Why am I still here?
