(Verse 1) I should have watered all my plants And learned to waltz in Paris, France I regret not buying Bitcoin when it was cheap Now my high horse isn't quite as steep I never read Proust, not a single page But I've mastered the three-star Google review rage (Chorus) Oh,these golden, shining life regrets! A collection of my dumbest bets I wear'em like a badge, a twisted crown The wisest fool in this whole town Yeah,these glorious, ironic life regrets Are the best teacher that I've ever met! (Verse 2) I regret that third martini,dry And the honest truth I should've let die I should've taken more Instagram pics of my food And been in a better,more grateful mood I regret every time I was nice for free Should've charged a small consultancy fee (Chorus) Oh,these golden, shining life regrets! A collection of my dumbest bets I wear'em like a badge, a twisted crown The wisest fool in this whole town Yeah,these glorious, ironic life regrets Are the best teacher that I've ever met! (Bridge) My resume's a tragedy, my love life's a jest But my collection of regrets? It's simply the best A tapestry of "oops" and "what was I thinking?" Perfect for over-drinking and over-blinking (Outro) So here's to the mistakes that made me me! A masterpiece of cringe for all to see! What a legacy! What a sarcastic,fantastic legacy
