Finished work about half five. Long day. Absolute nightmare. Three meetings, two deadlines, one bloke who replied-all to the entire company. Needed a pint. Met the lads down the local. First round in. Second round arriving. Talking rubbish. Football. Politics. Who had the worst manager. Normal Thursday. Then Paul stops talking. Looks over my shoulder. Goes… “Sean…” I said, “What?” He said, “I think those blokes are looking at you.” Four blokes by the bar, all staring this way. Trying act calm but my heartbeat’s saying: Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Maybe they’re nothing. Maybe they’re not. Maybe I’m paranoid. Maybe I’m caught. Four blokes by the bar, all staring this way. Tell me why tonight had to go this way. I don’t recognise them. They don’t recognise me. At least I don’t think they do. One points. One nods. One starts walking. Not fast. Not slow. Purposefully. That’s worse. Paul says, “Did you upset someone?” I said, “Not recently.” Thought about it. Then I said, “Actually…” Think. Think. Think. Last month? No. Last week? No. Tuesday? Possibly. Hard to remember. Now they’re closer. Way closer. One’s got tattoos. One’s built like a wardrobe. One’s smiling. Which somehow feels threatening. The fourth one’s doing that thing where he’s trying not to smile. The lads suddenly become very interested in their drinks. Cheers, boys. Four blokes by the bar, all staring this way. Everybody disappears when it’s judgement day. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Need another pint. Need another plan. Need somebody else to become the man. Heartbeat. Heart race. Worst-case. First place. Every bad decision running through my brain. Every wrong turn. Every missed call. Everything arriving all at once.
