Well this is a story most men over fifty know… ’Bout cancer… yeah not just any cancer… It’s THAT one. The one that says, “Hey buddy… remember me?” They say if we breathe, we get it If we walk, we get it too Drink a cup of coffee in the mornin’ “Well sir… it’s waitin’ on you.” It hides like a toddler in the closet Peek-a-boo behind the wall You only find that little rascal When you… go reachin’ where the sun don’t fall If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry Lord You know I ain’t that brave If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry Tryin’ to joke while I pray Side note now, just curious why… Anybody chooses urologist for a life I mean really… no really… What do they tell their wife? If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry So I’m grinnin’ through the fear God’s got a sense of humor Or He wouldn’t put that thing right here If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry So I’m trustin’ while I stand With a walnut-sized reminder I ain’t the boss… He’s the Man Comical, PSA & Biopsy Then comes that PSA number Like footprints in the sand Trace elements of trouble Leakin’ from forbidden land If yours shines like sunshine This song ain’t meant for you Mine was hidin’ in the shadows Plotting like a villain do They found a tumor growin’ Throwin’ secret little meets Through scans and biopsies We found their tiny sneaky streets Now if you’ve never had a biopsy Don’t ask for one at Christmas time That gift ain’t wrapped in ribbon It’s wrapped in “Lord be mine.” If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry I almost did that day But I told myself, “Just breathe, old boy, And let the good Lord lead the way.” They said, “We got options, sir.” Like sugar or cream in your joe Radioactive pellets, zap it good Light up the night like a Fourth of July show You could power up your house Or maybe fry the neighbor’s car Or ream it like a rusty pipe That’s cloggin’ up the reservoir Or yank it clean and toss it out Leave a canyon wide and grand Feels like you misplaced twenty feet Of plumbing God designed by hand Of course it’s your decision They say it calm and dry God must still enjoy a joke… ’Cause every road’s got why I chose the ream job, thank You Lord Not all gone, just enough Break that water jam inside Without glowin’ in the rough If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry So I’m laughin’ loud and long ’Cause faith don’t mean you’re fearless It just means you’re holdin’ on Now here’s the part they don’t tell ya… Pee… don’t pee… pee… then don’t. You ain’t makin’ that decision Your body says you won’t. It’s trickle trickle creek bed Then a river runnin’ wild Better keep them Depends nearby Like a nervous newborn child Then you wait… And you wait… And you wait some more… Days turn into weeks Weeks into months of prayer Don’t try holdin’ your breath, friend Ain’t nobody got that air If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry So I’m singin’ through the doubt God’s been with me every mile Of what this ride’s about If it worked, I’ll hit life’s highway Rollin’ steady once again If it didn’t… I’ll still trust Him ’Cause this ain’t the final bend If I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry But I know where my help comes from From the Maker of walnuts and galaxies And every risin’ sun Yeah it’s a wild ride, brother One most men will know But we ain’t walkin’ lonely No matter how it goes So laugh with me now… ’Cause tears come easy, I know why If I don’t laugh… I’m gonna cry.
