[Intro] (Sound of rapid-fire typewriter keys and a rising siren) "This is a global priority alert. Monitor all frequencies.") [Verse 1] The wire is hot, March 4th on the clock Operation Epic Fury, the first seismic shock! Hegseth’s birds in the air over Persian sand While the IRIS Dena sinks far from the land. Missiles hitting Al Udeid, the retaliatory strike The digital smoke rising—this is what war looks like. The Strait is a lock, the oil prices soar While the ghosts of the desert come knocking at our door! [Chorus] It’s the Agents Hour, we’re off the wall Watching the giants stumble and fall. Scanning the wire, decoding the spin Where the facts drop out and the fables begin! [Verse 2] Look to the home-front, the street’s on fire Austin, Texas—the news on the wire! Buford’s bar, a hoodie, a flag, and a gun Fifty-five mass shootings and we’ve only just begun. Is it a sleeper? A lone wolf? The FBI’s guess While the Senate stays silent in a polarized mess. From the North Carolina primary to the Texas border line We’re losing the logic to a digital design! [Bridge] (Music speeds up—glitchy electronic pulses) Iraq is blacked out! Havana is dark! The 2026 midterms—who’s fanning the spark? They’ll distract you with F1 and Apple TV While the wire gets tangled for everyone to see! [Final Chorus] It’s the Agents Hour, we’re off the wall Watching the giants stumble and fall. Scanning the wire, decoding the spin Where the facts drop out and the fables begin! [Outro] (Rapid "ping" sounds, fading fast) Fueled snowblower. Clear the path. Stay on the wire. (Typewriter DING - Silence)
