[Verse 1 — Studio Recording; drums lead; dry conversational pocket] Went out for a gallon of milk Neighbor waved me down Said, "Hate to even ask you this" I should've left town Needed a ride to his ex-wife's place Said, "Don't park where she can see" Then climbed across her privacy fence That concerned me Came back carrying a box fan Said, "Relax, I paid for it" I had follow-up questions Didn't ask that shit [Chorus — harmony opens; sitar answers vocal] That wasn't the plan Not remotely, man Every bad decision starts with "Do me a favor if you can" "Real quick" ain't ever real quick "One drink" means cancel what you had I went out for a gallon of milk That wasn't the plan [Verse 2 — same tight pocket; leave space between punchlines] We took the fan to Ray's place Ray already had a beer Girlfriend called, six grown men Suddenly couldn't hear Somebody brought up Kevin Everybody shook their head I said, "What the hell did Kevin do?" "Kevin knows what Kevin did" Ray said, "Since you're already here..." There it was again I've learned nothing from experience Apparently [Chorus — harmonic release; Indian percussion stays forward] That wasn't the plan Not remotely, man Every bad decision starts with "Do me a favor if you can" "Real quick" ain't ever real quick "One drink" means cancel what you had I went out for a gallon of milk That wasn't the plan [Instrumental Exchange — brief sitar and psychedelic guitar phrases; drums maintain pocket] [Verse 3 — increasingly amused and incredulous] By nine I'd heard three divorces And somebody's vasectomy A woman asked if I was single Ray answered, "Technically" I said, "What the hell does that mean?" He said, "Don't make this about me" Fair enough Somebody poured tequila In a Disney souvenir glass Raised it to responsible choices Nobody laughed Got back home around midnight Neighbor shook my hand Said, "Hell of a Tuesday, wasn't it?" That wasn't the plan [Final Chorus — widest harmony; playful but controlled] That wasn't the plan Not remotely, man Every bad decision starts with "Do me a favor if you can" "Real quick" ain't ever real quick "One drink" means cancel what you had I went out for a gallon of milk Never bought the damn milk [Outro — short sitar response over continuing percussion]
