[**Intro: spoken-words**] I love my wife you know... She Is such a problem solver! i stay away from home most of the day but she doesn't slack off, oh no... She meet with people and face the problems i couldn't 'cause i'm working... such a good wife! (Verse 1) My car was making a dreadful sound I feared the repair would cost a good amount But when my wife took it in for me The bill was small as small can be The mechanic said,"For you, my friend, This discount trend will never end!" (CHORUS) la la la la la! i get all the discounts! la la la la la! My charms know no bounds! la la la la la! People love me! la la la la la Almost anything Is free! (Verse 2) The kitchen sink was clogged and slow A plumber's visit, a financial blow But when she called, he came right out To fix the pipe and clear throughout He never charges for his time He just says my wife is so sublime! (CHORUS) la la la la la! i get all the discounts! la la la la la! My charms know no bounds! la la la la la! People love my wife! la la la la la We really got no strife! (Verse 3) The postman used to just walk by With barely a glance or a hi But now he stops, he knows me by name We talk of weather, life, and the game He's like a brother from long ago His cheerfulness, a constant flow. (CHORUS) la la la la la! i get all the discounts! la la la la la! My charms know no bounds! la la la la la! No more mail lost! la la la la la Wife solved that, what a boss! [**OUTRO: cynical, satyrical overload!**] I love my wife! such a problem solver! i love my wife! ...where did i put the revolver...? [**ABRUPT STOP**]
