Zachary, I’ve carried these words For more years than you could know, I’ve rehearsed them in the silence, But I never let them go. I was young and I was broken, Trying to outrun my pain, And while I fought against my demons, You were standing in the rain. You needed me to be your shelter, You needed arms that stayed, But I was lost inside a darkness That the drugs and drinking made. I know “sorry” cannot give you back The mother you deserved— But I need you to know I see it now, Every moment, every hurt. [Chorus] I wasn’t the mother I wanted to be, And you paid for the war that was raging in me. I can’t change the nights when you needed me near, But I can stand beside you from this moment right here. You are more than your anger, your scars, or your past, More than those jailhouse walls and the years moving fast. We have both walked through hell, but we’re still standing here— And if you truly want it, It can get better from here. [Verse 2] Your grandma tried to save me When I didn’t want to see, She tried to hold us both together While the world was swallowing me. Now she’s gone, and in the quiet I can hear the things she’d say: “Don’t let yesterday keep stealing What you still can save today.” And I carry so much guilt, son— I hold your choices near my heart. Every cell and every sentence Feels like somehow it was my part. Maybe pain was passed between us Like a chain from hand to hand, But a chain can still be broken When we finally understand. [Chorus] I wasn’t the mother I wanted to be, And you paid for the war that was raging in me. I can’t change the nights when you needed me near, But I can stand beside you from this moment right here. You are more than your record, your rage, or your past, You don’t have to believe that the worst has to last. We have both walked through hell, but we’re still standing here— And if you truly want it, It can get better from here. [Bridge] I know what it means to be trapped in a life That you hate, but you don’t know how to leave. I know what it means to keep falling apart Till you’re scared there is nothing beneath. But I found there was ground. There was still one more breath. There was still one more chance to begin. So, Zach, when that darkness says, “This is your life,” Don’t you listen—don’t let darkness win. I won’t lie and say the road will be easy. I won’t promise the pain disappears. But you’ve already survived every hit, every fall, Every locked door and hard-earned tear. Prison may be somewhere you’ve been, But it does not have to be who you are. You are still my beautiful boy— You are not too broken, And you have not gone too far. [Final Chorus] I wasn’t the mother I wanted to be, But, Zachary, you’ve always been precious to me. I can’t rewrite your childhood or dry every tear, But I’m telling you now—I am finally here. And I’ll carry my failures, but not as your chains; You don’t owe your whole future to yesterday’s pain. Let us lay down the guilt we have carried for years— We have both walked through hell, But it ends somewhere near. So take one step toward daylight, I’ll take one step there too. I still believe in tomorrow. I still believe in you. We cannot change where we’ve been, son, But our reason is clear: We’re alive, we still love, And it can get better from here. [Outro] Zachary, I’m sorry. Zachary, I’m here. You are still worth saving— And it can get better from here.
