(Verse 1) Woke up this morning, a triumphant sight Put both my legs through my boxers, fit very tight The toaster rejected my simple request Ate a cold slice of bread, feeling deeply oppressed My keys performed a magic trick, a vanishing act Found them in the fridge, and that is a fact. (Chorus) Oh, it's a symphony of my own fails A living tutorial on how to fall and bail I tripped on a flat surface, won a fight with a door My social skills are something you truly abhor I'm the king of the common, the prince of the slight mess In the grand opera of life, I'm the comic relief. (Verse 2) At the coffee shop, I executed my plan The barista said"Here's your drink!" I just said "You too!" again Tried to look cool and aloof, walking down the street Walked straight into a signpost, admit my defeat My phone, it died of shame, right in the checkout line As I juggled my change, dropping every single dime. (Chorus) Oh, it's a symphony of my own fails A living tutorial on how to fall and bail I tripped on a flat surface, won a fight with a door My social skills are something you truly abhor I'm the king of the common, the prince of the slight mess In the grand opera of life, I'm the comic relief. (Bridge) I tried to fix the leaky tap with tape and a spoon Now there's a new fountain in my living room My cat just looked at me with utter disdain She knows I'll do it all again tomorrow, same pain. (Outro: muttered) Yes, I'm the champion...of the slightly off-day... Why is there jam on my mouse? Okay. Another victory...for a dude like me. Just a common, common, common...comedy.
