[INTRO] [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] [VERSE 1] Andy Burnham won the Battle of Bakersfield, the banners went up and the pigeons all kneeled, [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] the enemy marched in with drums and thunder, [BREAK] then someone whispered, “They’ve brought a plumber.” [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] [CHORUS] Oh, the Battle of Bakersfield, what a sight, heroes by day, leaking radiators by night, [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] Andy took the trophy, [BREAK] the crowd sang louder, [BREAK] while the enemy’s secret weapon fixed the shower. [LONG INSTRUMENTAL] [VERSE 2] He turned up late in a rusty van, [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] holding a wrench like a battle plan, [BREAK] said, “I’m not here for glory or fame,” [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] “I’ve come because the pipes are doing the same.” [LONG INSTRUMENTAL] [BRIDGE] Nobody knew what side he was on, nobody knew where he’d come from, [BREAK] but every leak in Bakersfield was suddenly gone. [LONG INSTRUMENTAL] [CHORUS] Oh, the Battle of Bakersfield, what a sight, heroes by day, leaking radiators by night, [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] Andy took the trophy, [BREAK] the crowd sang louder, [BREAK] while the enemy’s secret weapon fixed the shower. [LONG INSTRUMENTAL] [VERSE 3] The generals stared, [BREAK] the horses fled, [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] someone dropped a traffic cone on their head, [BREAK] the plumber shrugged and tightened a nut, [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] and somehow the whole war just… [BREAK] shut. [LONG INSTRUMENTAL] [FINAL CHORUS] Oh, the Battle of Bakersfield, what a sight, heroes by day, leaking radiators by night, [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL] Andy took the trophy, [BREAK] the crowd sang louder, [BREAK] while the enemy’s secret weapon fixed the shower. [LONG INSTRUMENTAL] fixed the shower… [BREAK] fixed the shower… [END]
