[Verse 1] Eleven in the morning, hear the office door, Lei Jing clicking in like she owns the whole floor. Everybody working since eight forty-five, Lei Jing at eleven: “Good morning guys!” Suddenly quiet, nobody make sound, Lei Jing monster is somewhere around. One little stare and everybody freeze, “Can you do this now?” — “YES LEI JING, PLEASE.” [Pre-Chorus] Aiyo Lei Jing, why you so like that? Come in at eleven with iced black coffee in your hand. Everybody scared, everybody obey, Because everything must go the Lei Jing way. [Chorus] Lei Jing! Lei Jing! Monster of the floor! Also called Kim Jong Leong, the dictator monster, demanding more. Lei Jing! Lei Jing! Don’t you disagree, Just nod your head politely and say, “Okay Lei Jing, okay, okay, I see.” [Verse 2] Lunch time coming, Lei Jing eating clean, Salad and quinoa, everything green. No sugar, no carbs, dressing on the side, Healthy healthy lifestyle — she says it with pride. “Protein! Fibre! Watch what you eat!” But ask about the gym and she suddenly retreat. Running? Cannot. Squatting? No way. But somehow eating clean makes everything okay. [Psychotic Breakdown] A little bit psychotic, a little bit wild, Smiling like an angel, plotting like a child. One minute she’s laughing, the next she’s seeing red, Everybody checks the words before they leave their head. “Is she joking?” “Is she serious?” Nobody knows — the situation’s mysterious. One raised eyebrow and the whole room panics, Lei Jing’s mood swings got everybody frantic. [Coffee Breakdown] Hot coffee? NO! Milk inside? NO! Sugar or syrup? WHERE DID YOU LEARN COFFEE, BRO?! Iced black coffee, straw inside, Anything else gets immediately denied. Toothless! PMTD! Curate! ONO! If it’s not one of those, she probably won’t go. Beans too fruity? NO. Roast too dark? NO. Ice cube wrong size? She’ll give you one look and tear you apart. She sniffs the cup like a sommelier, Takes one sip then pushes it away. “Acidity wrong. The finish is strange.” Aiyo Lei Jing, it’s coffee — please behave! [Bridge] RAAAAAAARRRGHHHH! Everybody hide! Lei Jingzilla is not satisfied! Kim Jong Leong, the dictator monster, is on the rise! She wants it now, she wants it her way, Even though she only clicked in at eleven today. Healthy food? YES! Exercise? NEVER! Iced black coffee? FOREVER AND EVER! Coffee with a straw? DON’T QUESTION HER! Choosy about everything? ABSOLUTELY! [Final Chorus] Lei Jing! Lei Jing! Monster extraordinaire! People see her coming and suddenly disappear. Lei Jing! Lei Jing! Queen of the working day, Arrive at eleven but still everything must go her way. Salad in her left hand, Black coffee in her right, Never seen the inside of a gym in her life. Toothless, PMTD, Curate or ONO, Suggest another roastery? “NO NO NO NO NO!” [Outro] Eleven-oh-one… click click. Sip iced black coffee through straw. “Morning everyone.” Office goes silent. Aiyo… Lei Jing come already.
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