A Sticky Situation [Darkwave Club]

darkwave, post-punk, techno, dark ambient

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[Intro]

"Check, check. Is this thing recording? Look, I usually only write about things that get me banned from public libraries, but today we’re talking about a wardrobe malfunction that has reached critical mass. If you’re wearing white pants, back away slowly. This is a public service announcement. One, two... three, four!"

[Verse 1]

I hit the club with a mission, looking fly and fresh
But my anatomy is trapping me in a web of its own flesh
See, I had a little mishap with a tube of superglue
Don't ask me how or why, I’ve got better things to do
Now my fly is fused shut like a high-security vault
I’m walking like a penguin, and it’s entirely my fault
The room is getting crowded, the bass is hitting hard
I’m sweating like a witness before the firing squad

[Pre-Chorus]

Don't reach down
Don't look there
I’m wearing denim armor
In a state of total despair
Keep your distance
Keep it clean
I’m a hazardous waste site
In these tight-fitting jeans

[Chorus]

There’s a sticky situation in my pants tonight
And it’s harder to open than a locked-up site
I’m dripping, I’m slipping, I’m stuck in a jam
I don’t know what I’m doing or who the hell I am
From my belt to my zipper, it’s a total disaster
Somebody call a plumber, or a goddamn disaster master
Yeah, it’s a sticky situation
And it’s ruining my whole damn reputation

[Verse 2]

Now the DJ’s dropping beats and the girls are looking round
But I’m vibrating like a washing machine falling to the ground
I tried to use a knife, I tried to use a pry-bar
I’m having more trouble than a drunk guy in a cop car
You’re staring at my crotch with a look of pure confusion
I’m just trying to survive this anatomical intrusion
It’s like I’m wearing concrete, it’s like I’m wearing lead
I’d rather be at home with a bag of ice on my head

[Pre-Chorus]

Say it low
Don't be weird
The structural integrity
Has finally disappeared
One more step
No one knows
I’m a walking bio-hazard
From my head down to my toes

[Chorus]

[Bridge]

Look, I’m not saying you have to help me.
I’m just saying if you have a pair of industrial shears,
And a very, very strong constitution,
We could probably get through this by the end of the song.
Or, you know, we could just walk away and let the authorities handle it.
Actually, let's go with that one.

[Guitar Solo]

[Final Chorus]

[Outro]

"Oh, that’s not good."

"Never again."

3100/7500

[Intro] "Check, check. Is this thing recording? Look, I usually only write about things that get me banned from public libraries, but today we’re talking about a wardrobe malfunction that has reached critical mass. If you’re wearing white pants, back away slowly. This is a public service announcement. One, two... three, four!" [Verse 1] I hit the club with a mission, looking fly and fresh But my anatomy is trapping me in a web of its own flesh See, I had a little mishap with a tube of superglue Don't ask me how or why, I’ve got better things to do Now my fly is fused shut like a high-security vault I’m walking like a penguin, and it’s entirely my fault The room is getting crowded, the bass is hitting hard I’m sweating like a witness before the firing squad [Pre-Chorus] Don't reach down Don't look there I’m wearing denim armor In a state of total despair Keep your distance Keep it clean I’m a hazardous waste site In these tight-fitting jeans [Chorus] There’s a sticky situation in my pants tonight And it’s harder to open than a locked-up site I’m dripping, I’m slipping, I’m stuck in a jam I don’t know what I’m doing or who the hell I am From my belt to my zipper, it’s a total disaster Somebody call a plumber, or a goddamn disaster master Yeah, it’s a sticky situation And it’s ruining my whole damn reputation [Verse 2] Now the DJ’s dropping beats and the girls are looking round But I’m vibrating like a washing machine falling to the ground I tried to use a knife, I tried to use a pry-bar I’m having more trouble than a drunk guy in a cop car You’re staring at my crotch with a look of pure confusion I’m just trying to survive this anatomical intrusion It’s like I’m wearing concrete, it’s like I’m wearing lead I’d rather be at home with a bag of ice on my head [Pre-Chorus] Say it low Don't be weird The structural integrity Has finally disappeared One more step No one knows I’m a walking bio-hazard From my head down to my toes [Chorus] There’s a sticky situation in my pants tonight And it’s harder to open than a locked-up site I’m dripping, I’m slipping, I’m stuck in a jam I don’t know what I’m doing or who the hell I am From my belt to my zipper, it’s a total disaster Somebody call a plumber, or a goddamn disaster master Yeah, it’s a sticky situation And it’s ruining my whole damn reputation [Bridge] Look, I’m not saying you have to help me. I’m just saying if you have a pair of industrial shears, And a very, very strong constitution, We could probably get through this by the end of the song. Or, you know, we could just walk away and let the authorities handle it. Actually, let's go with that one. [Guitar Solo] [Final Chorus] There’s a sticky situation in my pants tonight And it’s harder to open than a locked-up site I’m dripping, I’m slipping, I’m stuck in a jam I don’t know what I’m doing or who the hell I am From my belt to my zipper, it’s a total disaster Somebody call a plumber, or a goddamn disaster master Yeah, it’s a sticky situation And it’s ruining my whole damn reputation [Outro] "Oh, that’s not good." "Never again."

0/500