(Tempo: A jaunty, theatrical cabaret accordion march) (Verse 1) Emmanuel sits in his gilded salon, With a glass of Bordeaux and his slippers tight on. The constitution says two terms is the max, But Manu has found a few brilliant hacks. He waves the grand banner of freedom and choice, While quietly muttering, "Hush down your voice!" Yes, democracy’s grand, it’s a beautiful vision, As long as you follow the patron’s decision. (Chorus) Oh, vive la République, and vive le decree! You’re perfectly free to agree with just me! We’ll filter the internet, censor the press, To save you from voting in ways that digress. With a wink and a nod and a secret handshake, It’s a wonderful pageant for liberty's sake! (Verse 2) He looks at the rivals, the young and the bold, And says, "Independent? A bit over-polled." He nips them right down before they can bloom, By locking the mic and by clearing the room. Instead, he’s found just the right man for the seat: An elderly brother, discreet and elite! A grand Freemason buddy, well-versed in the craft, To steer the whole state on a temporary raft. (Chorus) Oh, vive la République, and vive le decree! You’re perfectly free to agree with just me! We’ll filter the internet, censor the press, To save you from voting in ways that digress. With a wink and a nod and a secret handshake, It’s a wonderful pageant for liberty's sake! (Bridge) The plan is sublime, it’s a masterclass scheme, The ultimate political slumber-party dream. The old friend takes office, looks stately and grand, While Manu plays shadow-king over the land. A brief five-year pause while he sits on the bench, Before he returns to re-conquer the French! (Verse 3) "Free speech is essential!" he cries to the crowd, "Just keep it polite, and not quite so loud." The new laws are passed to protect you from harm, By muting the critics who cause him alarm. The grandfather candidate smiles and looks wise, While Manu is plotting his second sunrise. He’ll step right back in when the term comes to close— The eternal president everyone knows! (Outro) So raise up your glasses to liberty's light! Managed so strictly to keep it just right. With a compass, a square, and a law to restrain, The King of Elysée will conquer again! Merci, et bonsoir! (Big finish on a dramatic accordion chord)
