Matches to Curtains (Refined) Verse 1 There’s a glass beside the bathroom sink With a fingerprint in dust, And the morning keeps on coming Like it doesn’t know what I’ve done. I found my coat out in the hallway, Keys still tangled in the door, Like some part of me got home And some part never did before. I had a name for every warning, A reason not to quit. Called it “getting through the night,” Called it “I can handle it.” But every little white promise Learned my voice before I did. I kept feeding it tomorrow Till there wasn’t much to give. Pre-Chorus I kept saying, “One more night.” Funny how forever Always sounded that polite. Chorus Now I’m standing in the aftermath, Trying to recognize my hands. They held the matches to the curtains, Then asked why nothing stands. I made a god out of a chemical, Put my whole life at its feet. Now the girl who wanted saving Is the girl I had to leave. I wasn’t trying to hurt them. I was trying not to feel. Turns out pain keeps perfect records. It just waits until you’re real. ⸻ Verse 2 There are names I cannot call now Without tasting something sharp. Every “I’m okay” I offered Was another locked-up heart. I watched people learn to whisper When they talked about my face, Like grief had rented out my body And was wearing it for days. I remember little moments More than any grand collapse: A birthday candle burning down. My mother staring at her lap. The dog asleep beside my shoes. The phone lit up at 3:00 a.m. Someone saying, “Please come back.” And me pretending not to hear them. Pre-Chorus I thought shame would keep me honest. Instead it taught me how to hide. Turns out even clean water Can drown a life from the inside. Chorus Now I’m standing in the aftermath, Trying to recognize my hands. They held the matches to the curtains, Then asked why nothing stands. I made a god out of a chemical, Put my whole life at its feet. Now the girl who wanted saving Is the girl I had to leave. I wasn’t trying to hurt them. I was trying not to feel. Turns out pain keeps perfect records. It just waits until you’re real. ⸻ Bridge I don’t miss the way it tasted. I miss how it made me vanish. How it turned a screaming body Into something almost managed. But I woke up with the silence, And it knew my given name. It said, “If you want another ending, You have to walk through every flame.” So I held the doorframe shaking. Let the daylight touch my skin. For the first time, I stayed long enough To see the room I was in. ⸻ Final Chorus Now I’m living in the aftermath. Some days that’s all I am: A girl rebuilding from the smoke With ash beneath her hands. I made a god out of a chemical. Even gods can break and fall. And I don’t need to be forgiven To stop answering its call. I wasn’t trying to hurt them. I was trying not to feel. Now I’m learning pain’s the heartbeat Of the parts of me still real. ⸻ Outro There’s a mirror in the hallway. I look at her when I pass. She doesn’t look like who I was. She looks… Like she might last.
