[Intro – spoken] Oi… who touched the switch? Nah, nah, nah… You’ve killed it. [Verse 1] We had lamps turned down, little mood in the room, Candle in the corner and a bassline boom, Everybody vibing, feeling cheeky and calm, Then you walked in like a health and safety alarm. One click, boom, now the magic is dead, Whole room brighter than a hospital bed, I was halfway through a look and a wink, Now I’m squinting at the carpet like, “What do you think?” [Pre-Chorus] You didn’t read the room, You didn’t catch the tone, You came in with the ceiling sun, And ruined the whole zone. [Hook] Who turned the big light on? Vibe gone missing, atmosphere gone, One little switch and the night went wrong, Big light energy, you’re moving too strong. Who turned the big light on? Mood got murdered, romance gone, Lamps were lovely, the groove was strong, Big light energy, what have you done? [Post-Hook – backing singers] Big light, big light, no no no, Turn it off, bring back the glow, Big light, big light, way too strong, Who turned the big light on? [Verse 2] Now Dave looks tired and Sam looks stressed, Everyone’s exposed and under-dressed, Snacks on the table looking tragic and dry, Even the dog gave a judgemental sigh. You lit up the room like a crime scene crew, I can see every bad decision I knew, We were dim-room royalty, smooth and elite, Now it’s giving dentist chair, council suite. [Pre-Chorus] You didn’t read the room, You didn’t catch the tone, You came in with the ceiling sun, And ruined the whole zone. [Hook] Who turned the big light on? Vibe gone missing, atmosphere gone, One little switch and the night went wrong, Big light energy, you’re moving too strong. Who turned the big light on? Mood got murdered, romance gone, Lamps were lovely, the groove was strong, Big light energy, what have you done? [Bridge – spoken over bass drop] There are lamps. There are candles. There are fairy lights. There are options. But you… You chose violence. [Final Hook] Who turned the big light on? Vibe gone missing, atmosphere gone, One little switch and the night went wrong, Big light energy, you’re moving too strong. Big light, big light, no no no, Turn it off, bring back the glow, Big light, big light, way too strong, Who turned the big light on? [Outro – spoken] Honestly… Some people shouldn’t be allowed near switches.
