last time I yelled at my mother I was 16 and that was the last time I ever yelled at my mother because I didn't know she was a cyborg she came at me like a spider monkey on crystal meth I didn't know she can beat people up with her hands and feet and her tail Yes my mama has a tail cuz she's a special sideboard and Dad will Dad was just a zombie was afraid my mom cuz she was a cyborg with a tail and could fight with her feet and hands so as I'm getting thrown across the room through the drywall into the Next Room my little cyborg brother she yells run and I just darted out the window and just to make the story have a little bit of culture I was not a cyborg I was born from mixed race parents so I'm a zombie cybernetic porcupine but I have a human face features and I can also throw rubber bands from my fingers that's my superpower so there I am running out the window nowhere to go my mom's on my tail she's already got her tank wheel tracks out and she's just fledging through the forest and I'm just very slow because I'm half zombie and half cyborg half porcupine half Burmese cat and an eighth French so the only thing I can think of is I'm going to run to my girlfriend's house so I ran to George's house George's my girlfriend and she just happens to be a snail with the sexy ass shell so I go I said hide me Georgia hide me she goes get in my shell and I said is that all you can think about is sex right now and she goes no stupid getting my shell before you crystallize okay I'll do it baby and all the sudden my mom storms through the house makes her own hole no doors can hold my mother she went right through the wall and straight to Georgia and said where is my halfling son at and Georgia said I haven't seen him I think he's over there at the old Whitaker place you know the cybernetic toaster ovens with munchkin hands and she's like okay I'll trust you and she stormed off with another hole in the house off to the Whitakers and I crawl out of Georgia shell and I go thanks babe I owe you one and she says you know what I love my little zombie cybernetic porcupine give me a kiss and as I did my porcupine quills popular in the face and I forgot to tell you my other superpower I sweat salt so I ended up killing my girlfriend who happens to be a snail because the salts ate your skin more of the story is don't eat peanut butter jelly sandwiches in August or else you might get a tummy ache and you might have to go to the doctor and get your nails painted
