[Verse 1] You asked me for the county fair, I said, “I know the way,” Turn left beside the barber shop—though it closed in ’98, okay? Go past the red barn, cross the creek, then follow where it bends, If you see a goat in spectacles, you’ve gone too far again. [Chorus] Don’t ask me for directions unless you’ve got some time, I’ll send you on a scavenger hunt and call the detour fine. Find the spoon beneath the mailbox, ask the rooster for the key— You’ll get there by suppertime, or somewhere close to me! [Verse 2] The map I drew was beautiful, with arrows, loops, and flair, A tiny X beside a stump that isn’t even there. I told you, “When the church bell rings, take the road that’s paved,” Then remembered both roads are gravel and the bell got sold and saved. [Chorus] Don’t ask me for directions unless you’ve got some time, I’ll send you on a scavenger hunt and call the detour fine. Find the spoon beneath the mailbox, ask the rooster for the key— You’ll get there by suppertime, or somewhere close to me! [Bridge] First clue: a boot beside the fountain. Second clue: a pie tin on the hill. Third clue: if you reach the old stone mountain, Wait for my cousin—he’s probably standing still! [Instrumental Break: lively banjo and fiddle] [Final Chorus] Don’t ask me for directions unless you’ve got some time, I’ll send you on a scavenger hunt and swear the route’s sublime. Find the spoon beneath the mailbox, ask the rooster for the key— You’ll get there by suppertime… just follow me! [Outro] No, not that way—come back!
