Monster With a Gentle Heart

[Verse 1] Why do I hate myself this much? Why I sabotage everything that shows me love? Like I don't feel I deserve it when it shows up, Like my self-worth hiding, never speaks up. I keep on breaking every blessing that be coming my way, Pushing every bit of sunshine out into the rain. Tell myself I ain't enough, I just carry the blame, But I'm tired of this voice always dragging my name. [Pre-Chorus] Stop being so hard on yourself this way, I need my own heart just to say I'm okay. I gotta let the light in, let it stay, Let a little bit of joy find a home in my day. [Chorus] Tell me I am not my enemy, I am my friend, Tell me I can start again, this is not the end. Say yes when I'm feeling no, pull me out the bed, Get up, give it one more go, clear my heavy head. Ninety percent of winning is just being there, Can't let other people's judgment make me stop and stare. I'm a good soul, deep down, and I'm aware, Even when life hits hard, even when it's unfair. [Verse 2] I met a lot of bad ones and the good ones too, But good and bad both never see what I go through. Even if I told them everything that I survived, They would nod and walk away, leave me dead inside. I held up people that were pushing me down, Fed the same mouths that would laugh when I drowned. Even when the dark got a grip on their soul, I still played healer, I still played role. [Pre-Chorus] If being cool means I lose my truth in the end, Then I'm okay being called a loser friend. I won't let them write my story with their pen, I'd rather stay me, rare heart, not pretend. [Chorus] Tell me I am not my enemy, I am my friend, Tell me I can start again, this is not the end. Say yes when I'm feeling no, pull me out the bed, Get up, give it one more go, clear my heavy head. Ninety percent of winning is just being there, Can't let other people's judgment make me stop and stare. I'm a good soul, deep down, and I'm aware, Even when life hits hard, even when it's unfair. [Verse 3] My energy drains so fast when the vibe is fake, When every word is plastic and every smile is staged. In the end I'm left alone with the heartache, Nothing but disappointment in the mess they made. My ex taught me everything I shouldn't let slide, All the little ways I let him cross that line. Stayed too long, now all I feel is hate inside, But that pain turned to armor wrapped around my mind. [Pre-Chorus] So I still flick my middle finger to the sky, Tell the world my truth, I won't apologize. I won't trade my good nature just to get by, Won't let the bitter steal the soft in my eyes. [Chorus] Tell me I am not my enemy, I am my friend, Tell me I can start again, this is not the end. Say yes when I'm feeling no, pull me out the bed, Get up, give it one more go, clear my heavy head. Ninety percent of winning is just being there, Can't let other people's judgment make me stop and stare. I'm a good soul, deep down, and I'm aware, Even when life hits hard, even when it's unfair. [Bridge] So many people crave what they never were given, They see a pure heart and they wanna strip it. They don't move with love, they don't move with vision, But I keep my flame lit, yeah, I stay driven. If the world changed, if the masks fell away, If they saw the damage in the games that they play, Maybe they'd stop hiding in that shallow masquerade, Maybe they'd grow instead of living so fake. [Outro] This world that I'm living in messed me up proper, Built me from the ashes, now nobody can stop her. A good soul that can do dark things, But under all the armor still a heart that sings. Make a monster, but I'll always be a lover, Still care for others even when I suffer. I walk through the fire, still reaching for another, I am my own storm and my own cover.