You grabbed me with the laundry basket And said, “My friend, you need a bath” I saw the spinning metal doorway And did not share your cheerful laugh You poured a waterfall of bubbles You chose the gentlest setting too But nothing could have quite prepared me For what that washing drum would do I’m shouting my love from the washing machine As the whole wide world spins round If I survive this soapy cyclone Please put my feet back on the ground A sock flew past me like a comet A towel slapped me in the face Your favorite shirt became a sailboat In this ridiculous outer space Left became right, and up became nowhere My ears forgot which way they grew I tried to say that I forgive you But swallowed lavender shampoo I’m shouting my love from the washing machine Through every rinse and foamy wave I hope you know this wild adventure Is the cleanest proof of love I gave The spinning slowed, the door reopened You lifted me with careful hands My fur was flat, my smile looked crooked I could not even hope to stand You wrapped me in a giant towel And whispered, “You’ll be fine, old friend” I wanted to appear heroic Though water dripped from either end You hung me where the sun could find me The breeze moved gently through my seams I smelled like spring and fresh beginnings And slightly traumatized dreams By evening I was soft and fluffy You hugged me close and breathed me in I knew the storm had been worth facing The moment your arms closed again I shouted my love from the washing machine And spun through danger just for you Next time you say I need a washing A damp cloth might be kinder too
