Still Want to Go

Hey, I’m doin’ okay Eight days sober from everything Caffeine and sweat keep me upright The room still smells like nicotine Working three jobs to stay busy Lifting my way through the ache My hands shake when I open the fridge The day breaks, my back breaks, but I'm not broken I exported our messages, scrolled through a year Asked three machines what they saw here They said you don’t love me, you’re using me And I just sat there and wondered if I'd been hallucinating But I still wanna go Still wanna see the lights in Tokyo Still wanna stand where I said I’d go Even if my heart don’t follow Twenty-eight days to go Twenty-eight days to go I booked the flight before I knew myself Bought escape like a cheap hotel Now I’m countin’ down with a calendar cross To see if wanting still can help I talk to ghosts in the mirror They say, “boy, you learnin’ slow” Maybe Asia’s just another word For lettin’ someone, something, letting everything go But I still wanna go I'll be the one standing where I said I’d go Still wanna be the one you know Even if you never know me Twenty-eight days to go Twenty-eight days to go Hey, I’m doin’ okay That’s what I say to the screen Withdrawal feels holy some days Like faith without belief *Lyrics written and produced by SED NO1*