🐻[STTZ 2046] I Lose them Again (My Family)

Pixel found me in the rain. Carrying someone else's words. On any other night, I would've let them pass. Pixel found my trail when old memories were already awake. He carried a name. And suddenly the rain smelled like yesterday. I don't blame Pixel. He only came to find me. I don't blame the one who sent him. He only opened a door. But behind that door was everything I lost. You hear a story. I remember the pack. You hear old names. I want them back. You hear the past. I smell the rain. And every time they're spoken, I lose them all again. Again... The city moved on. The years moved on. But some losses stay where they fell. Sometimes I still lift my head when the rain starts falling. For one second I think they're still there. For one second I'm not alone. Then the silence returns. You hear a story. I remember the pack. You hear old names. I want them back. You hear the past. I smell the rain. And every time they're spoken, I lose them all again. Do you know what I miss? Not the years. Not the pain. I miss knowing they were beside me. I miss the familiar voices. I miss the feeling that I wasn't alone. One day all of it was gone. You hear a story. I remember the pack. You hear old names. I want them back. You call it the past. It never left me. I still miss them. I still look for them. And they never came home. I can still smell the rain. I can still hear their voices. I would give anything... To hear them one more time. You hear a story. I remember the pack. You hear old names. I want them back. You hear the past. I smell the rain. And every time they're spoken, I lose them all again. I miss them. I still miss them. I always will. Pixel found me. The message arrived. But all I remember are the ones who never came home.