I Was a Young Boy (ڴ⨊ΛⱤוᗩʆ.ɛ𑣲³འ³ᴹ!ₓ) (Feat: DJ Waffle)

[Intro.] [Soft cassette hiss, playground bell, low kick like a heartbeat under snow.] Mmm… kid with pockets full of plastic dreams Now I’m grown and the sky feels like a ceiling [Verse 1.] I was a young boy, never knew what love was Just juice-stain joy, little hands, little buzz Toy-soldier courage, laughing at thunder Then age showed up with a bill and a blade Turns “fun times” into “work late” and “don’t get played” Now it’s grit in my teeth, worry in my sleep And a quiet panic when the night gets deep [Pre-Chorus.] I hit the mirror like, who is this dude Why my heart feel heavy when my face play cool I didn’t know love could bruise like a fist I didn’t know “forever” could vanish like mist [Chorus.] I miss the old days, back when I was small Didn’t know love, didn’t trip when I’d fall Now I’m wrestling feelings like a wolf in the pen I’m sorry for the hearts I bent, I’m sorry again [STACK I — Warm-Up.] [Drums tighten, bass pops, voice snaps into quick confession cadence.] Dumb, not evil, just lost in the rush Two knots in my chest, two words I can’t hush Lord, teach my mouth to mean what it says [Verse 2.] Then girls became gravity, dragged my thoughts around Chasing pretty like purpose, like I’d finally be found Date one, she leaves, I act like I’m fine But my ego keeps bleeding in invisible lines I like this girl, then that one, then I go numb What the heck is going on, why my mind split in two [Pre-Chorus 2.] I keep saying “I love you” then I freeze up cold Like my heart got scared of the life it told And every time I bounce, somebody pays the fee So I’m staring at the Bible like it’s staring at me [Chorus.] I miss the old days, back when I was small Didn’t know love, didn’t trip when I’d fall Now I’m wrestling feelings like a wolf in the pen I’m sorry for the hearts I bent, I’m sorry again [STACK II — Control & Bounce.] [Glitch stutters, guitars scrape, hat rolls in a funky swing, syllables stack tighter.] I’m a cracked compass, pointing “want” then “won’t” Say “stay” with my lips while my fear says “don’t” I kept two doors open like that’s safer to do But it’s really just cowardice dressed up as “true” If I hurt you, I own it, no halo, no spin No “I was just young” as a get-out-of-sin I was chasing the rush, not building a home And the loneliness laughs when the party is gone So I breathe, I repent, I relearn how to choose Not the next pretty fire, the next honest truth Put my pride on the altar, let it finally bleed free [Bridge.] [Half-time drop, choir ghost, bright keys like stained-glass glare.] Dear God, I’m tired of being my own storm Tired of cold apologies, tired of half-warm Bless the girl I let down, let peace find her fast Teach me grown-man love, not a boy-made mask [Final Chorus.] [Full band lift, glitch sparks, the hook hits bigger and cleaner.] I miss the old days, back when I was small Didn’t know love, didn’t trip when I’d fall Now I’m learning real love is a weight and a wing And I’m done making damage just to feel something I’m sorry for the hearts I bent, I’m sorry again Mmm… I’m sorry again [STACK III — Fractal Spiral.] [Tempo surges, triple-layer vocals, words tumble like dice in a cathedral server room.] I grew up in a glitch, thought love was a game, Thought “date” meant “escape” and the score was my name, So I chased little highs to heal little holes, But the hole got hungry and it swallowed my soul Now I see the pattern, it’s ugly but mine, A carousel curse where I cut every line I want “new” every week, then I hate what I chose, Then I blame “how I feel” like that’s fate, I suppose Nah, that’s me, that’s my mess, that’s my untrained will, Fear in a suit saying “breaking hearts pays bills” Pride acting holy, lust acting sweet, My mouth writing checks my spine can’t complete So listen, my past, stop talking so loud, You were a kid, but you’re not my king now I can miss the old days without hating my life, I can grow a new root without burning the knife Real love ain’t a spark, it’s a forge, it’s a frame, It’s showing up steady when it’s boring and plain It’s guarding a heart like it’s sacred terrain, Not sampling souls like a song for my brain I’m done with roulette, the two-text tango, The “I’m fine” facade and the “maybe” ammo If I say “I love you” it better be brick, Not a sugar rush sentence that melts when it’s slick I read that Word like a mirror with teeth, It don’t flatter my flaws, it don’t bargain with grief It says grow, it says choose, it says own what you broke, It says mend what you meant, not just drown it in smoke To the two hearts I bruised, hear it clean, hear it true, No excuses, no circus, the blame is on me, not on you And to the next love that finds me, I’m bringing a spine, A calmer mind, a slower pace, a steadier sign Because I’m tired of fighting for nothing but noise, I want peace in my chest like a kid with his toys [Outro.] [Instrumental breath, soft humming, tape hiss fades into quiet.] Mmm… never knew what love was