Secrets I Was Too Small To

You told me that you loved me With poison in your teeth Said, “Don’t tell anybody They would never believe” Small hands, shaking bedroom light I had nightmares every night Blankets over my little head Still saw your shadow in my bed Pre-Chorus You turned fear into a promise Made silence feel like law I was only just a child Too young to understand it all Chorus You made me keep a secret Heavy like a stone Crying in the dark room Feeling so alone Had nightmares almost every night Couldn’t sleep without a light You said love was hiding pain Now I’m trying to heal my brain Verse 2 Family dinners, birthday cake Smiles so fake they made me ache Everybody thought you cared Nobody saw how scared I was I learned how to disappear Smile wide and hide the fear Carried shame I didn’t own Built a home inside my bones Pre-Chorus And every year still echoes back Tiny footsteps down the hall I still hear the younger me Begging someone, anyone at all Chorus You made me keep a secret Locked behind my ribs Seven years old and terrified Of everything you did Had nightmares almost every night Felt too small to win the fight You wrapped fear inside “I care” Now your ghost is everywhere Bridge But love should never feel like fear Or leave a child in tears Love should never steal a voice Or make survival feel like choice The truth was always there beneath The shaking hands, the missing sleep And none of it was mine to hold I was a child, you were old enough to know Final Chorus You made me keep a secret But secrets still can bleed Now I’m learning how to speak For the child you tried to keep And though nightmares still remain I know I don’t deserve the blame You called it love to hide your sins But love would never do those things