[Intro Spoken] Welcome to the only holiday where we celebrate overeating, arguing, and pretending this casserole does not smell like a war crime. [Verse 1] Grandma in the kitchen with a bird she brined Talking like the turkey is a friend of mine Dad is already drunk and it is barely nine He is carving up the meat like it is a violent crime Aunt Cheryl brought a casserole that smells like fear Cranberry sauce shaped like a can this year Cousin Eddie in the corner trying to shotgun beer Grandpa saying something racist no one wants to hear [Pre Hook] This holiday dinner is a fever dream Everything covered in gravy and family screams [Hook] Stuff my turkey Fill my plate Give me seconds till I dislocate Pass that pie Pour that wine Thanksgiving chaos every time Stuff my turkey Feed my shame We are pilgrims playing a food fight game [Verse 2] Mom is doing yoga in the living room Trying to manifest that no one will argue soon Uncle Rick just farted like a sonic boom Now the dog is passed out with a look of doom Black Friday ads on the TV flash I want a half price toaster and a can of hash Cousin Linda getting ready to sprint and dash She is training in the hallway like a track star flash [Pre Hook] This heritage feast is a battlefield Mashed potatoes flying like a makeshift shield [Hook] Stuff my turkey Fill my soul Cram that stuffing in the casserole bowl Give me sides Give me bread Let me eat myself nearly dead Stuff my turkey Feel no pain Calories marching through my brain [Bridge] Thanksgiving table is a circus zeal Someone spilling Chardonnay like a slip and peel Grandma doing shots like she is twenty one Shouting pilgrim jokes that scare everyone [Breakdown] I do not want family wisdom or life advice I want gravy on everything like edible ice Serve the pie Serve the shame Serve the guilt you cannot tame [Final Hook] Stuff my turkey Make it loud Shove that feast into a midnight crowd Bring the drama Bring the fight Same old chaos every night Stuff my turkey Bless my sin Thanksgiving meltdown again [Outro Spoken] Thank you for attending this ritual of emotional damage and poultry abuse. If you need the bathroom, get in line behind Uncle Rick. And bring air freshener.
