[Intro — Store Intercom] Attention, associates... Senpai has entered the building. [Whisper] UwU... [Verse 1] Saw you by the freezer doors, Stocking waffles by the score. Blue vest shining, box-cutter drawn— My common sense was instantly gone. You scanned the shelf. You checked the count. My heart exceeded the approved amount. You said, “This pallet goes in aisle nine.” I said, “Senpai... Please notice mine.” [Pre-Chorus] Beep! Beep! Item not found! My feelings fell onto the ground! Rollback prices! Rising heat! Meet me by the deli meat! [Chorus] UwU, Senpai Walmart! Scan my heart and push the cart! Roll me back and mark me down! Cutest associate in town! UwU, Senpai Walmart! Love is open twenty-four! You can check my inventory— But there’s always room for more! [Backing Shout] MORE! [Verse 2] Saw you driving the pallet jack, Moving with that lumbar-safe back. You faced the shelves with fearless pride, Then stocked the beans on the incorrect side. The team lead came. You played it cool. I hid behind a seasonal stool. You said, “Who left this topstock wrong?” I whispered softly— “It was love all along.” [Pre-Chorus] Beep! Beep! Code Spark tonight! Romance under fluorescent light! Price check! Heart attack! Senpai, please bring my feelings back! [Chorus] UwU, Senpai Walmart! Scan my heart and push the cart! Roll me back and mark me down! Cutest associate in town! UwU, Senpai Walmart! Love is open twenty-four! You can check my inventory— But there’s always room for more! [Spoken Interlude] Manager assistance needed... In my heart. [Scanner Error] BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP! [Bridge — Heavy Half-Time] No overtime Can match this pain. No energy drink Can calm my brain. The floor is waxed. The lights are cruel. You make that blue vest Look too cool. [Low Male Chant] Stock! Zone! Face! Rotate! [Lead Vocal] Senpai, our lunch break cannot wait! [Breakdown] Meet me beneath The rollback sign. Your fifteen minutes... Could become mine. [Final Chorus — Faster] UwU, Senpai Walmart! Scan my heart and push the cart! Throw my dignity away! It was clearance anyway! UwU, Senpai Walmart! Hear the intercom declare: “Attention, shoppers— True love found Between housewares And lawn chairs!” UwU! Rollback! UwU! Rollback! Senpai scanned me— No receipt! [Outro — Intercom] Thank you for shopping at Walmart. Please collect your emotional baggage before leaving the store.
