Yo. Cruise Night. It happens every month. Been happening for like ten years. You have two cars. How is this so hard? bought an import, New toy, fresh ride, Said, “I’ll come and get you, We’ll take it out tonight.” Finally hit Cruise Night, He’s never been before, Ten damn years of cars Rolling right past his door. But wait... Gotta check the paint, Gotta check the wheel, Tiny little scratch Means the whole damn deal Is OFF. “Dude, nobody cares.” “Yeah, but I care.” Of course you do. One car’s apart, One car runs, One needs work, One needs none. Weather is perfect, Tank is full— SO WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? “Well…” I JUST WANNA GO TO CRUISE NIGHT! CRUISE NIGHT! GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE! I JUST WANNA GO TO CRUISE NIGHT! CRUISE NIGHT! BEFORE I TURN SCHFIFTY-FIVE! Your car ain’t gotta be mint! Nobody gives a tish! Turn the key! Put it in gear! AND GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! Now he’s got another project Sitting in the shop, Waiting for the perfect day When every problem stops. Needs this, needs that, Part is on the way, Maybe next weekend, Maybe Saturday. Mercury’s in retrograde, Humidity is high, Saturn isn’t lined up With the intake butterfly. The moon ain’t right, The stars ain’t straight, Tire pressure’s off By point-zero-eight. BRO. JUST. DRIVE. THE. CAR. Phone goes off. I already know. “What?” “Gotta have dinner with my friends first.” …DINNER?! I JUST WANNA GO TO CRUISE NIGHT! CRUISE NIGHT! GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE! I JUST WANNA GO TO CRUISE NIGHT! CRUISE NIGHT! WHILE WE’RE STILL ALIVE! Your car ain’t gotta be mint! Nobody gives a tish! Turn the key! Put it in gear! AND GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! Ten years… TEN YEARS! Cars roll by while you wait inside. Perfect paint. Perfect tune. Perfect night. Perfect moon. Perfect tires. Perfect air. Perfect shine On every square. Perfect planets Perfect stars... YOU’RE GONNA DIE BEFORE YOU DRIVE THESE CARS! IT. DOESN’T. HAVE. TO. BE. MINT. Does it run? YEAH! Does it drive? YEAH! Got some gas? YEAH! THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?! I JUST WANNA GO TO CRUISE NIGHT! CRUISE NIGHT! GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE! I JUST WANNA GO TO CRUISE NIGHT! CRUISE NIGHT! IT’S FOUR-O-FIVE! I JUST WANNA GO TO CRUISE NIGHT! CRUISE NIGHT! BEFORE THEY CLOSE THE STREET! But first you gotta eat with your friends? … Fine. I’ll meet you there next month. Assuming the weather’s good. And the car’s running. And the paint looks right. And the parts came in. And Jupiter clears Saturn. See you in 2034.
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