🦝Sophisticated Degenerate [Tales]

(Your best bad bet) I drink red wine from a paper cup Wear a three-piece suit to the strip club I quote Einstein in karaoke bars Then pass out face-first in stranger’s cars I’m an oxymoron wrapped in Gucci threads A Shakespeare sonnet with a hangover’s dread I’ll solve a Rubik’s Cube while I’m rolling dice Then lose my rent money on some exotic spice I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a paradox in play I’ll charm your mom and steal her cabernet I’ve got style, but it’s morally irrelevant Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a mischief in mink I crash parties to pass out top-shelf drinks I’ve got a habit of ruining the etiquette Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate I own a library full of unread books But I Google every fact while serving looks I’ll mansplain wine, then shotgun a beer A poet laureate of questionable cheer My dating profile says “refined yet wild” But I’ve ghosted more people than a haunted aisle I’ve got the swagger of Bond, the class of Gatsby But I’ll still wear flip-flops at a formal soirée I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a paradox in play I’ll charm your mom and steal her cabernet I’ve got style, but it’s morally irrelevant Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a mischief in mink I crash parties to pass out top-shelf drinks I’ve got a habit of ruining the etiquette Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate I’m the Picasso of poor decisions The Einstein of bad intentions A Renaissance man of absolute chaos But I’ll still send thank-you notes with my payoffs (Your best bad bet) I’ll critique your grammar while high on shrooms Then redecorate your house with stolen heirlooms I’m a walking contradiction, a refined disgrace Making crude jokes with a poker face I’m a sommelier of tequila shots A connoisseur of clubs where the floor is hot I’ll give a TED Talk on bad behavior Then leave the stage to argue with a waiter I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a paradox in play I’ll charm your mom and steal her cabernet I’ve got style, but it’s morally irrelevant Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a mischief in mink I crash parties to pass out top-shelf drinks I’ve got a habit of ruining the etiquette Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate So here’s to the mess in a tailored vest A disaster all dressed up and always well-pressed Raise a toast to the one that you’ll never forget A sophisticated degenerate, your best bad bet I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a paradox in play I’ll charm your mom and steal her cabernet I’ve got style, but it’s morally irrelevant Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate I’m a Sophisticated Degenerate, a mischief in mink I crash parties to pass out top-shelf drinks I’ve got a habit of ruining the etiquette Call me your favorite Sophisticated Degenerate (Your best bad bet)