Desperation and Despair
Have you ever wondered… How a man can have so much… And still feel like he’s standin’ in the dark? We got water from the faucet, Bread upon the table. Roof that don’t leak when the storm rolls in. Across the ocean somewhere A mother prays she’s able Just to keep her babies fed again. We don’t fight for survival Like so many souls do. We call this land the blessed and the free. So why in the quiet When the daylight’s through, Does a shadow come lookin’ for me? Why do I feel hopeless When I know I’m so blessed? Why does desperation Settle deep in my chest? Is it faith being tested, Or faith being grown? Are these questions just miles On the road I must roam? I don’t know all the answers— But I know I’m not alone. I’ll hold to His promise Till He calls me home. Raised by two strong parents, Five kids round the table. Love was somethin’ we never lacked. Married me an angel, Three good kids and able, Now grandbabies climb up on my back. Nana’s in the kitchen, Papa’s on the floor. Laughter echoin’ down the hall. Lord, I’ve had a good life— Maybe even more Than I ever deserved at all. So why do I feel hopeless When I know I’m so blessed? Why do those two big D’s Start knockin’ in my chest? Desperate… despair… They whisper when it’s quiet and still. Is there somethin’ unfinished? Some unseen hill? I don’t know the reason, I don’t know His plan— But I know He’s been faithful Every step this man has ran. My body’s had its troubles, Doctors shake their heads. But it ain’t enough to steal my breath away. Yet sometimes in the midnight Between the prayers I’ve said There’s a heaviness I just can’t pray away. Does everybody feel it? Or is it just me? Is it part of bein’ human and free? Maybe it’s a reminder This world ain’t my home… Maybe it’s heaven callin’ softly Through the unknown. I may feel hopeless But I ain’t without grace. Desperation visits— It don’t own this place. Every question I’m carryin’ He already knows. Every tear that falls He already holds. Someday all these whys Will finally be shown… When my name is called And I’m finally home. Maybe the feelin’ ain’t failure… Maybe it’s faith stretchin’ wide. And until He gives me the answers… I’ll keep Him by my side.
