So, Where's Mary Ann? Verse 1 I left the house with plenty of time, Fedora on, I was looking just fine. Three-hour drive to see old friends, A FarmHouse picnic where the laughter never ends. I pulled up early like I always do, Called her phone once...then twice...then a few. Voicemail answered every single try, Ninety minutes later I was wondering why. Chorus So, where's Mary Ann? Did she change the plan? Here I am just waiting in the parking lot, Looking like a suspect—I swear I'm not! The neighbors watched, the rumors ran, "Who's that fellow in the funny brown hat?" Turns out I was right where I should have been... Mary Ann was just a week ahead—or behind again! Verse 2 People started peeking through the door, Looking at me like they'd seen me before. One lady wrote my license on a yellow pad, By now the whole thing was getting pretty bad. I called the sheriff just to play it safe, Thought a welfare check might solve the case. The deputy listened, nodded with a grin, Then disappeared to investigate within. Chorus So, where's Mary Ann? Did she change the plan? Here I am just waiting in the parking lot, Looking like a suspect—I swear I'm not! The neighbors watched, the rumors ran, "Who's that fellow in the funny brown hat?" Turns out I was right where I should have been... Mary Ann was just a week ahead—or behind again! Bridge Then Faye came out with a bottle of water, Said, "Come inside, we'll figure this out together." A few phone calls and the mystery broke, She was in Litchfield—that's no joke! Later she called with an embarrassed laugh, "I thought the picnic was next Sunday...my math!" Final Chorus **So, where's Mary Ann? Now we understand! No emergency, no mystery to solve, Just one calendar that failed to evolve. The residents all got a front-row seat, Watching squad cars roll down the street. And for the next month, you can bet they'll say, "Remember that stranger in the hat that day?" Outro Now every FarmHouse picnic, someone will grin, "Frank...you bringing Mary Ann again?" We'll laugh until the story gets old— Which means...never, so I'm told!
