[Intro – bubbly underwater beats glitching into panicked cat yowling] Yeah… They sent the cat to negotiate with the sea witch. He showed up… mostly dry. Barely. [Verse 1 – The Underwater Hustle] Puss in Boots rode the magic carpet like a flying surfboard supreme “Hold on, wooden boy — I do NOT do water, this better be a dream” Pinocchio steered with his nose like a cursed wooden GPS They skimmed just above the waves — Puss dry, dignity mostly intact (more or less) Ariel swam beside them, pointing aggressively at her throat Puss winked — “Relax, legs. I got this. Watch the master gloat.” They reached Ursula’s lair — shipwrecks and spite, tentacles everywhere Sea witch lounged on her throne like “What fresh idiot is this? I’m prepared.” [Pre-Chorus] Puss shook off a single drop like it personally offended him. [Chorus – wet cat dark humor gold] Puss tried to negotiate, smooth as hell at the start Ursula just flicked a tentacle — splash — straight to the heart Cat went full wet, fur flat, looking like a drowned rat in a hat Yowling “This is NOT in my contract, you oversized calamari brat!” Ariel was dying laughing (silently), bubbles everywhere Puss slipping on seaweed, cursing in three languages with flair “¡Maldita sea! I do NOT do water! This is animal abuse!” Ursula howling — “Best deal I’ve made in centuries, you soggy little goose!” [Verse 2 – The Deal] Puss, now soaked and dramatic, cut straight to the point “Voice for the girl, sea witch — name your price, no joint” Ursula grinned with all her teeth — “One chaotic favor, to be named later You owe me, cat. Seal it proper… or the deal’s a failure.” Pinocchio stepped up, nose already twitching with the lie Looked Ursula dead in the eyes and said in his twisted Yoda style: “Agree to the deal we do… the favor will be paid… eventually… no tricks… I swear.” [Pre-Chorus] His nose shot forward like a living wooden seal Touched Ursula’s contract scroll with a dramatic boop — deal real. [Final Chorus – full, unhinged funny] Puss in Boots — the wettest cat in fairy tale history Got hustled by Ursula and lived to tell the misery Ariel got her voice back with one final splash and a pop While Puss swore off water forever — “Nevermore… nevermore!” Prince and Pinocchio laughing so hard they almost sank the carpet Magic rug zooming like “Y’all need therapy, I’m done with this shit” The crew reunited on the shore, wet cat in the middle looking sad Red just patted his head — “Good kitty… you smell like regret and bad decisions, lad.” [Outro – fading yowling + bubbles + laughter] Yeah… They got the voice back. Puss got absolutely soaked. Pinocchio sealed it with the longest wooden lie in history. And the moral? Never send a cat to do a mermaid’s bargaining. Wet cat energy remains undefeated.
