[Chorus: Spoken Introduction] This is a tale of one who prevails [Drums Only] There is a vacancy Vacancy, vacancy International vacancy Vacancy Suitable for anyone worldwide Who is diversity Diversity Or disability Disability Or mediocrity Mediocrity Or a donkey Donkey? [Whispers of Disbelief] A donkey? A donkey? Can it be? Oh, what say we? [Break: Horns Only] [Verse 1] Sitting in Tesco's car park Waiting for the wife Come on, sweetheart, hurry up! I've an interview to get to Apologies, my love Sweetheart, dear Oh, darling, do not fret For only one of your stilettos has the secret castanet It's filled with Mexican jumping beans Trained to emit rhythm that's quite obscene It's bound to get you past first round Because I bet, no one else has a sound [Break: Horns Only] You're right, of course, you often are Like when you found me that sheep car The one we used when we did hunt No, drive safely, and do not shunt Or push into traffic hastily For that would make me a tad tardy [Break: Trumpets Only] [Chorus: Spoken Introduction] All candidates, please stand You are from all across this land Some from far away So welcome here today We have all assessed your work Read your papers, gone berserk At the incredible quality Of the candidacy Whoever's successful We hope you'll be bringing us frivolity As we're often taken far too seriously [Break: Horns Only] The votes are in, and we've made a decision Silence, please, we'll have no derision Well done to the donkey He's won the position For the sound of stilettos And, of course, his ambition [Fanfare: Multiple Voices] Say hello to the team He'll be leading on "green" Be second on "yellow" but making tea on "cerise" All got that? Hands up, who has the grease? If you have, please release Do not spill it, hold it firm Give the donkey some, make him squirm Only on yellow, never on red Nothing in this game for two in a bed What does that mean? Something obscene? Could you tell the Queen? Don't think so! [Break] Click-clack, clip-clop The donkey in stilettos started to bop The rest of the crew started to swap Shoes for high heels, so they could start from the top As the company found the only bellhop The one from the prop shop, who liked to eavesdrop Who'd tried to drop slop on the top of hip-hop But had failed in the co-op 'cause of the non-stop be-bop [Outro] Click-clack, clip-clop, this is better than working Click-clack, clip-clop, that's just a donkey who's twerking Click-clack, clip-clop, this is better than working Click-clack, clip-clop, that's just a donkey who's twerking Click-clack, clip-clop, this is better than working Click-clack, clip-clop, that's just a donkey who's twerking Click-clack, clip-clop, this is better than working Click-clack, clip-clop, that's just a donkey who's twerking
