[Intro – Spoken] Dad: This meeting will now come to order. Mom: Nuh-VAY-uh, thank you for attending. Dad: Attendance was mandatory. Mom: First item on the agenda… Sleep. Dad: Second item… Sleep. Mom: Third item… Dad: You guessed it. Sleep. [Verse 1] We gathered tonight to discuss your ways, Specifically evenings and sleeping delays. Your recent performance has raised concern, You keep going to bed then making U-turns. We appreciate all the smiles you bring, Your laughter, your cuddles, everything. But after reviewing this week’s report, Your bedtime statistics are coming up short. [Chorus] We called a family meeting, Everybody take a seat. There’s only one thing on the agenda— Nuh-VAY-uh needs to sleep. Family meeting, Please listen carefully. Mommy and Daddy have voted… Two to one. Mom: She didn’t get a vote. Dad: Exactly. [Verse 2] Item number four: unnecessary screams, Item number five: refusing sweet dreams. Item number six: kicking off your sheet, Then acting shocked when we cover your feet. Item number seven: surprise wake-up calls, Item number eight: yelling down the halls. Item number nine: smiling through it all, Like none of these policies matter at all. [Spoken Meeting] Dad: Would the defendant like to respond? Mom: She’s a baby. Dad: Still. Baby sound Dad: Noted for the record. Mom: What did she say? Dad: I believe she said, “No.” Mom: Motion denied. [Chorus] Family meeting, Everybody gather near. New bedtime rules go into effect Immediately this year. Family meeting, The decision is complete. Effective immediately… Nuh-VAY-uh must sleep. [Bridge – Corporate Style] Dad: We are implementing a new strategic initiative. Mom: Called? Dad: Operation Close Your Eyes. Mom: What are the deliverables? Dad: Sleep. Mom: Timeline? Dad: Immediately. Mom: Budget? Dad: Zero dollars. Mom: Excellent. [Bridge – Sung] No more negotiations, No more overtime. Bedtime starts at bedtime, Not whenever you decide. We love you more than words can say, But meetings cannot last all day. So please respect the policy… Sleep immediately. [Final Chorus] We called a family meeting, Mommy’s trying not to laugh. Daddy brought an agenda Like the baby’s gonna read that. Family meeting, It’s officially complete. All parties have agreed— Mom: We did not all agree. Dad: Majority rules. Nuh-VAY-uh… Go to sleep.
