A river of milk turns to red whose child was this the doctor said in the quiet room the monitors fade I hold the shape of the name we made heartbeat becomes silence silence becomes weight weight becomes— nothing nothing left to wait am I praying for peace or cursing the sky your heartbeat stopped but I still hear it "beautiful" it said just once, just near it hold on hold on hold on underneath my chest something is breaking something is at rest holy absence absent and holy the wound stays open bleeding so slowly God did you even see her
