[Intro – Spoken] Mom: Okay. Let’s review. You ate. Dad: Correct. Mom: Fresh diaper. Dad: Correct. Mom: Cuddles. Dad: Extensive cuddles. Mom: Rocking. Dad: Premium rocking package. Mom: Music. Dad: Live entertainment. Mom: So what exactly is the complaint? Dad: And please be advised… Customer service is currently closed. [Verse 1] You had room service brought to the bed, Fresh pajamas pulled over your head. Temperature perfect, blanket just right, Still got complaints at eleven at night. We changed your diaper, checked it twice, Warmed your bottle exactly nice. Mommy gave kisses, Daddy gave three, What other services could there possibly be? [Pre-Chorus] No more requests, No more demands. Management has officially run out of hands. Please leave a message after the beep, All representatives are trying to sleep. [Chorus] Customer service is closed tonight, No more bottles after midnight. Mommy loves you, Daddy too, But there is nothing else we can do. Customer service is done for the day, All complaints can wait till eight. If your issue is “I’m not sleepy”… Your claim… Has been denied completely. [Spoken Break] Dad: For English, press one. Mom: For another bottle, press— No. Dad: For cuddles— You already received those. Mom: For bedtime assistance— Close your eyes. Dad: That one’s free. [Verse 2 – Mom] You smile at me like you found a loophole, Little baby CEO taking control. One tiny sound and we both report, Your customer service team needs support. You got two employees on overnight shift, No lunch break, no benefits. And every time we think our shift is through, Here comes another emergency from you. [Dad – Spoken] What’s the emergency? Mom: She dropped the pacifier. Dad: Again? Mom: Again. Dad: How does one person drop that many pacifiers? [Chorus] Customer service is closed tonight, No more bouncing left and right. Mommy loves you, Daddy too, But everybody here is overdue. Customer service will reopen soon, After sunrise, preferably noon. If this is an emergency— Dad: Please define emergency. Mom: Being awake does not qualify. [Bridge – Hold Music] Mom – Humming: Da-da-da-da… Dad: What are you doing? Mom: Hold music. Dad: Oh. Both – Singing softly: Thank you for your patience, Your call is important to us. Unfortunately, all parents Are exhausted at this time. Please remain asleep… [Bridge – Spoken] Dad: Your estimated wait time is… Eight hours. Mom: Nine if you’re lucky. Dad: Please do not hang up. Mom: Actually, please do. [Final Chorus] Customer service is closed tonight, Everybody turn off the light. Mommy’s done and Daddy’s through, There are no more departments left for you. Customer service is closed, my dear, We’ll gladly help you when morning gets here. Until then, your case number is… Dad: G-O-T-O-S-L-E-E-P. Mom: That’s not a case number. Dad: It is tonight. [Outro] Mom: Thank you for contacting Mommy and Daddy. Dad: We value your business. Mom: Please do not contact us again tonight. Dad: Goodnight.
